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   ttt clean room ttt lunch  

TINY TOWN, USA –– Take a look! We're improving our Web Site. There's our designer Belinda Cho making magic happen in the TTT clean room on the left.

In the middle is Jock Poseidon, our local fish monger. Here at the TTT offices we usually send out for lunch owing to our intense schedules.

Poz, as we call him, dips his line in a local creek and always cooks up something fresh. We think it is important to support the local economy and we tip generously.

On the far right, well ...

We need a plumber. We put a lot of our grant money into the clean room and research and the rest of the place could use ... a tender touch.

Stay tuned for more updates.

–– C. Penbroke Handy

Last Updated on Tuesday, 06 March 2012 10:44

A view inside the tinytowntimes.com office complex

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new offices


TINY TOWN, USA – Readers are already curious about where we are located and what kind of office space we use and is it forced air heating or radiant and does the roof giggle and do you have a co-ed employee toilet, etc.

At left, observe our reception area, with Chad Coles, director of public relations and advertising there in the striped shirt.

Chad is worried about his weight so we recommended he go wth the vertical stripes for this picture, which he did not want to be in.

We said: "Chad, we understand your reticence and recognize your need for privacy but we would also appreciate our director of PR and Ads to put on the ol' public face now and then. After all, we can't hide behind our laptops all the time."

Chad, blushing like a bride with a herpes sore, acquiesced.

Between the bar and the unhinged door you will see a prototype issue of tinytowntimes that we rejected as too traditional although we liked the fact that it was almost unreadable. 

Yes, that is a Franklin Stove on the left. The landlord said we shouldn't use it as there isn't any flue or chimney.

As the summer nights have been chilly, we have, admittedly, burned copies of local newspapers and some books like Catcher in the Rye and A Separate Peace, decadent materials both of them. We also tried to burn the complete works of Mary McCarthy for no damn good reason at all but that we found them in the basement.

The smoke damned near killed us, the books were damp, and we're still airing the place out, hence the door. The windows are nailed shut for security purposes. 

The room on the other side of the door looks like this: 

TTT office 2


As you can see, it is almost a scale model of the other room, and Chad is in there, too.

And so are We (in the creative white space to the right). That is, us, the editorial staff at tinytowntimes.com.

Now, if that isn't META enough for your post-post-modern positivist realist ass, get a move on. We've got work to do.

–– C. Penbroke Handy, asso. adminstrator

–– Chad Coles, PR, AdQ and S&M 

 ps: the roof does not giggle, but in a high wind, whispers "Mary." 


Last Updated on Wednesday, 29 July 2009 22:26

Tinytowntimes.com Ad Blitz stuns area market

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cow ad TINY TOWN, USA –– Tinytowntimes.com launched a preemptive advertising campaign in advance of its official September splash sensing that after just one week of activity it was all carpe diem and no looking back. Some test ads have already been circulated to the "media" and other social networking tools. 

The Research and Development team are eager to hear from readers who feel slighted, insulted, left out, embarassed, disappointed, bored, irritable or otherwise not content with the nature of these ads. 

Whatever your response, you can reach the TTT.com crew by clicking on "Contact Us" under ABOUT TTT.COM at the top of the menu on the left hand side of your screen.

See you all on the friendly fields of strife. 

–– C. Penbroke Handy, asso. managing editor 


TTT.com ad

Last Updated on Sunday, 09 September 2012 07:08

Welcome While We Get Our Ducks in a Row

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Welcome! TinyTownTimes.com will become an official site in September 2009. But we are uploading articles and photos and other tiny essentials as you dream. So feel free to take a gander (no pun as the picture is of a common duck w/ducklings, altho geese were nearby) and keep coming back. AND: Check Out Uncle Bodie under Funnies in our Arts & Entertainment section. Fairyland's Favorite Psychopath is sure to please children aged 21 and over ....  


Tiny Town Continues to Burn, Just like We Said It Would

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Greetings, Ithacan-Americans.

A lot has changed since we first posted this "Mission Statement"  back in 2009 when Obama was just a little bitty baby President and the Lehigh Valley House, Micawbers and the Royal Palm Tavern were still in business. As bars. Now Castaways is ... cast away.

Me? I quit drinking in 2008. But I miss the signs. 

Other changes since 2009: Caroline a.k.a Hydrilla Monster Peterson is out of the mayor's office and Svante Myrick is Hizzoner.  Gone too in the past three years: Sentimental retail department stores like Kmart. The Lost Dog morphed into Delilah's and is now a packing and shipping facility called Lot10.The New Roots Charter School rudely budged its way into semi-permanence and shoved a music class, lacking any acoustic paneling, next to a retail store downtown. Ask the owner of Blue Bird Antiques how she feels about "twinkle twinkle"; too, John Novarr decided "enough with history" and expanded his Real Estate Mogul's dossier to include the desecration of upper East State Street. Jason Fane never changed and neither has his henchmen John "The Swindler" Yengo. Bye-Bye Kulture Shock.


We applaud new arrivals like the Green Street Pharmacy and Soda Fountain, locally owned and operated. Yay. Other news blogs and sites have popped up, namely The Ithaca Post and The Ithaca Independent. Whether they have come and gone I cannot tell you: We try not to read the news. Kudos to Ithaca.com for keeping ahead of things that make Ithaca seem like a postcard mailed from the Chamber Pot of Commerce. 

Ithaca Guns is gone, but its chimney still holds. It has been rumored that The Chinese Government bought out our water treatment system and is holding Cornell hostage with threats to auction off its non-profit public properties. A nutria was spotted scootching along Monkey Run Trail.The Liberty Hyde Bailey Hortatorium died an undignified death – a demise that had direct consequences on the Royal Palm Tavern, as the dive was named after Bailey's fine collection of said palm. 

People have died. Loved ones, strangers and friends alike. Beat the drums slowly, and play the pipes lowly, for each.

Meanwhile, scads of 20-and 30-something dual earner couples and same sex couples continue to call this place home and of course, what does a baby need but a doggie?  

Even the AARP Magazine jumped on the bandwagon for making this a town only the 10 percenters can afford to retire in. 

Our original mission, too, is modified: We promised to avoid local politics. Lie!  I do believe we have provided half-truths, approximate forecasts and slander. But we've failed to provide jail menus, regular tattoo tallies, a running list of irresponsible landlords and their equally sketchy tenants. Tiny Fiction continues as do reports from the permanent underclass pavilions on the commons, actual news from real reporters besides myself, existential jabs at the EDuCorp East and South, unheard of wonders, tiny history, dead people (we dearly miss Peter Potenza and Louis and Bill, Men of the Streets, freaks, morons, funny people, real artists, graffiti critics, false alarms, rumors, gossip, innuendo ... and lots of pretty pictures).

Who among you foresaw Davey Weathercock's (Now Collectible) Weather Reports with Olive the Weather Hen? Or that Bobo and Ike would come along and fill in, seasonally it seems. How about that thrilling moment when Chad Coles took out Mercury Bay Shore with a fentanyl dart? Or the surrealism of Jerry Drolewski performing White Rabbit as police and EMTs attended to a junkie who flamed out on The Commons? 

Are we a Tiny Tabloid? Nope. We're a blog. But we have provided REAL NEWS -- breaking news, the like of which you will not find in that bit of corporate pulp fiction dangled from the short and curlies by the evil empire of GANNETT ... No insult to the fine frontline staff at IJ who do their best. 

What we have delivered is self-evident: Pretty pictures and slideshows, Adam Perl's Tinytown Teasers, Cop Reports and Aesop Cop – which became a book and sales could use a boost; absolute absurdity with Uncle Bodie and those lovable figments Big Huge and Little Tiny; funky folk who cannot go unnoticed, obituaries, sometimes in the form of slideshows. Life~!

Our efforts to create a true tiny town musical have been ... spotty. 

We expanded our reach to include "all tiny towns everywhere" and still wait for that special moment when we hit the big time and arrive in the next publication of "Being Local." Apparently, we didn't get the memo about this bit of elitist PR. 

Which can only mean one thing folks: We are doing it Right! 

Have we effed it up or just been plain stupid at times? Yes. I'm not a reliable narrator and some days the iron is hot but sense of critical distance and irony is not. Thanks to those who called us out when our logic was soft and floppy.  

Whatever. It's May 2012. We're still here, in a way. And Dear Ithacan-Americans, that means we are here for you. 

Contact us at TinyTownTimes.com

Franklin KGB Cufflinks


Last Updated on Saturday, 26 May 2012 13:29

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